Chinese news team confuses rubber vagina for mushroom


<<On June 17, Xi’an Up Close《西安零距离》aired a story about a “mushroom” that was found in Liucunbu village in Shaanxi province. The reporter, Ye Yunfeng, says at one point: “We can see here that this thing looks a lot like a fungus, with a mushroom head on both sides; at the top, we can see, there’s a mouth-like shape, and on the other side, there’s a small hole that opens through [to the other side]. It feels very lustrous smooth, and fleshy. We measured it with a ruler: this thing is about 19 centimeters or so.”>>

Villagers from Liucunbu, near Xi’an in Western China, discovered the oddly shaped brown item with its tell-tale holes while digging a new well.

They contacted the local news station, which sent Yunfeng Ye to the scene.


<<“I’ve done my own research on the internet,” says the afore-mentioned villager. “It’s a type of lingzhi mushroom, called the taisui.” [Editor’s note: Taisui refers to 60 celestial generals named in the Chinese zodiac.]

Without skipping a beat, reporter Ye chimes in with her own research, saying this type of lingzhi is generally found in the Shaanxi region deep underground and is hence rarely seen. “When the Emperor Qin Shi Huang was on the hunt for the secret to longevity,” she elucidates, “it is said he discovered this lingzhi was the answer.”>>

Therapeutic? Yes! However, medicinal is a bit of a stretch. The secret to longevity?

Experienced viewers quickly called in to say that the mushroom was made from silicone and it is a double-headed masturbation toy with an artificial vagina on one side and an artificial anus on the other.

Xi’an news station later published an apology on its companion blog, saying that its reporter was “was still very young” and was “unwise to the ways of the world” and hence, do not know the difference.

Fortunately, the villagers of Liucunbu didn’t stir-fry the “mushroom” and consume it.


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